Yesterday my roommate and I went down to Shore Club around noon to meet up with a couple of her girlfriends for Sunday Funday. It was beautiful out here in SD, but the breeze off the ocean was a little chilly so we huddled in a booth away from the open windows. My roommate is a cute girl and normally she hangs out with equally attractive girls, but not today. Before, this wouldn't be a big deal as I'd still just get drunk and hook up with one of em, but now it seems that I, in just 5 short months, have changed to the point that what I find attractive enough to hook up with just isn't the same.
It seems that I'm putting myself in a mental state where I will only want the unobtainable. I'm pretty much there already, but now, since I've been back, I don't find the average drunk party girl that cute anymore. I'm hoping this wears off soon so I can get back to my old troll loving self. Though waking up without the regret or embarrassment over what I just slept with is a nice change. The post alcohol poisoning depression is still there, but really the only way to avoid that is to either a, fall in love, b, bang and wake up next to a stunner, or c, don't drink. I obviously can't do a or c so my only option is b. Which circles back to my problem, I have not gotten better looking, but my taste in women has narrowed. Before I was more than happy with fives, sixes and sevens, but now I feel I won't be content unless I'm with eights or nines or that forever elusive ten. It has been almost two weeks since I came back from Thailand and it has been equally as long since I've gotten laid. I'm starting to think this new raised bar has been the cause of my recent stateside strike outs.
So back to Easter Sunday...the roommate's friends start to trickle in and we're all hanging out drinking bloody marys and chatting about nothing in particular, the usual drunk talk. One of the friends, when she first got there, sat at the edge of the booth and said she had to go to Kate Sessions park to meet up with her boyfriend for an Easter party, but stuck around for a few drinks and started flirting with me big time. She positioned herself so she was sitting right next to me and ordered shots for just the two of us and ignoring her phone. We all decided it was time to go hit up another bar and she basically demands that we ditch the group and head out on our own. Before my trip I would have most likely told her that the two of us should go back to my room for an afternoon quickie, but now I find myself sitting in that booth looking at her and thinking, 'This girl's features are too sharp and she's wearing too much makeup.' So I say, "No, we have to stay with the group, it's Sunday Funday after all! Plus, isn't your boyfriend waiting for you." She replies with something like, "He's been a dick lately." and then asks me to go with her in her car to the next bar. I say no and that she prob shouldn't be driving and she gets up and says she'll meet us at the next bar. We don't see her again. I hope she didn't crash.
The roommate has to work at 4pm so around that time she leaves us and I now find myself with three very drunk young party girls whom I just met a few hours ago, we all decide to do tequila shots and go on a mini pub crawl. good idea. We end the bar crawl back at my house around 9 or so to drink bud lights and watch movies. Now we've all been drinking (a lot) and I'm flirting with all the girls because I am 9 hours into a drinking binge(and I don't really know how not to flirt with girls), but I am still not wanting to actually hook up with any of them(what's happening to me!) So I guess I am just being a tease. I hate teases. Anyways, my roommate gets home from work and convinces everyone to go to the bar across the street. I tell them I am going to call it an early night and say my goodbyes and head upstairs.
Not sure what time it was, but later that night I get woken up by one of the girls coming into my room. My light is off so it's pitch dark and who doesn't wake up horny? so I invite her into my bed, as soon as she gets in she pushes up next to me and I put my arm around her waist, feel the soft flabby party girl belly, smell the sweet smell of hot sauce on her breath, lose that horny feeling and say, "Just a sec, I have to pee." When I come back my bedroom light is now on and she's laying there in her underwear. I quickly change my light to the dim setting and then lay down on the bed next to her and tell her I am exhausted. She grabs my junk. So I get back up and go get some water. The other girls are all still downstairs and when I head back up with my glass of water I am followed by one of them.
I now have two party girls sitting on my bed, one in her panties and bra, and they are giggling and guzzling bud lights and I'm laying in the middle of them going through an internal struggle, 'Do I go through with this and face the self loathing tomorrow? No, just go to sleep. But look at her tits! Yeah, but look at that gut. Yeah, but those lips! No.'
I tell them to scoot so I can get under my covers to go to sleep, they put down their beers and join me under the covers, one on each side. I'm on my back and underwear girl goes in for a kiss. The stickly sweet stench of hot sauce and beer is overpowering, I turn my face away. Not sure if she gets the hint cause she keeps putting her face next to mine in what I've learned before is an "I'm right here so kiss me" position. I turn my back to her, but now have the other girl's face in mine, luckily she's not trying to kiss me, tho she is squeezing my limp dick through my bball shorts and I'm praying it doesn't jump to attention. Suddenly underwear girl spoons me from behind. Damnit. But seriously, how is this a bad thing? Why am I unhappy with this situation? It's still bothering me. Six months ago I would have been drooling over this situation, but now, I just want to be alone in my bed. Of course, if these girls were stunners(or Thai hookers) I would not be feigning exhaustion in hopes of getting left alone, but instead reveling in the excitement and doing everything I could to make it a memorable experience.
Eventually I fall asleep, it feels like I am waking up every 20 minutes though. I have to admit, there was some cuddling throughout the night and regardless of who the girls were it felt good laying there on my back with a girl's head on each shoulder and their arms around me. A very comforting feeling. In the morning as they are leaving my room one looks over to me and sarcastically says, "good bye sleeping buddy."
So there you have it, I turned down what would have probably been a very raucous threesome with two young drunk party girls with big breasts served to me on a silver platter. I need counseling.
05 April 2010
03 April 2010
Los Angeles Is No Bangkok
April 1st, 2010
Email to JD:
LA was another strike out last night. I go out with my sister and one of her friends who I had already hooked up with a couple years ago. It was the friends 28th bday and she broke up with her boyfriend that afternoon. And being such a nice guy I tell her, "hey, dont worry about it, you guys'll be back together in no time. Just have fun tonight and enjoy yourself." of course im thinking, 'lets hope she gets drunk and wants a "get back at my boyfriend for breaking up with me on my birthday" fuck.
There were two reasons why i wanted to hook up with her...one, she was staying in a hotel room and I lost the couch I was surfing because my friend's mom was rolling into town, so I needed a place to stay. And two, she's cute and I severely needed to get laid.
Anyways, we get drunk, she keeps getting hit on by the guys at the bar and I'm thinking I no longer have a chance but at some point she comes over and I figure i have to beat those guys to the punch so i look at her and say, "kiss me." and she does. Now I'm thinking I'm golden and go off to play a game of pool. I come back to her and shes saying something about liking me and so i say, "well let's go back to your hotel room then." she says no and goes off to butterfly around the bar. When she comes back I say again, "I'm done drinking, let's go back to your room." she says no and then says, "I'm not gonna fuck you tonight." I say, "that's fine, Can we just go back to your room to sleep?" of course she says no, thinking im just saying that and will try to hook up once in the room, but i was serious, at that point i just wanted a place to sleep. I pout and go back to the pool table, but the bar is closing and the security is putting stools on it so i just wander around the bar. My sister finds me and tells me she's heading home.
I catch a ride, but don't want to sleep in the studio apt with her and her bf, so I go sleep in my rental car. It's a Toyota Corolla and it's fucking freezing. But before I try and sleep I call May in Thailand, she was apparently at a temple. It was a good call. After the call I check the length. It was 7 minutes long. I check AT&T on billing. $3.52/min. Ouch, that's an LT. But still, I go to sleep happy. Shivering and alone in my car, but happy that someone out there misses me, or at least pretended to for 7 minutes.
Email to JD:
LA was another strike out last night. I go out with my sister and one of her friends who I had already hooked up with a couple years ago. It was the friends 28th bday and she broke up with her boyfriend that afternoon. And being such a nice guy I tell her, "hey, dont worry about it, you guys'll be back together in no time. Just have fun tonight and enjoy yourself." of course im thinking, 'lets hope she gets drunk and wants a "get back at my boyfriend for breaking up with me on my birthday" fuck.
There were two reasons why i wanted to hook up with her...one, she was staying in a hotel room and I lost the couch I was surfing because my friend's mom was rolling into town, so I needed a place to stay. And two, she's cute and I severely needed to get laid.
Anyways, we get drunk, she keeps getting hit on by the guys at the bar and I'm thinking I no longer have a chance but at some point she comes over and I figure i have to beat those guys to the punch so i look at her and say, "kiss me." and she does. Now I'm thinking I'm golden and go off to play a game of pool. I come back to her and shes saying something about liking me and so i say, "well let's go back to your hotel room then." she says no and goes off to butterfly around the bar. When she comes back I say again, "I'm done drinking, let's go back to your room." she says no and then says, "I'm not gonna fuck you tonight." I say, "that's fine, Can we just go back to your room to sleep?" of course she says no, thinking im just saying that and will try to hook up once in the room, but i was serious, at that point i just wanted a place to sleep. I pout and go back to the pool table, but the bar is closing and the security is putting stools on it so i just wander around the bar. My sister finds me and tells me she's heading home.
I catch a ride, but don't want to sleep in the studio apt with her and her bf, so I go sleep in my rental car. It's a Toyota Corolla and it's fucking freezing. But before I try and sleep I call May in Thailand, she was apparently at a temple. It was a good call. After the call I check the length. It was 7 minutes long. I check AT&T on billing. $3.52/min. Ouch, that's an LT. But still, I go to sleep happy. Shivering and alone in my car, but happy that someone out there misses me, or at least pretended to for 7 minutes.
01 April 2010
Hello America
March 28, 2009
It sure is beautiful out at 7am in Santa Monica as I grab a $25 cab ride for an expensive 'walk of the strike out'. Struck out second night in a row! Went to a bar in Marina Del Ray. Got dissed in threes. First by a half decent japanese girl, then a half decent mexican girl, who was flirting with me all night, even asking me how big my dick was, I said "hahm yai", she said "what?", "nothing. U can find out later tonight", "ok", then right before closing she gets a call and bounces, and as last call is called a hail mary attempt with a less than half decent brunette with a big nose.
Bar closes and somehow I end up in some backroom of the bar passing around a bottle of Jack Daniels with the bartending staff and the band that played that night. I'm telling these randoms that I was in Thailand training for an upcoming UFC fight, one guy practices Jiu Jitsu and asks me what division. Fuck if I know, I change the subject. Eventually the backroom starts clearing out and I catch a ride with two girls in a rented minivan to some random hotel.
I remember the elevator ride up but apparently passed out on the floor as soon as I walked into their room. I woke up thinking, "Where am I?", get up and look around, the two girls asleep on one bed, two more people asleep on the other. I don't really know them and am the only one on the floor. I quickly leave.
It sure is beautiful out at 7am in Santa Monica as I grab a $25 cab ride for an expensive 'walk of the strike out'. Struck out second night in a row! Went to a bar in Marina Del Ray. Got dissed in threes. First by a half decent japanese girl, then a half decent mexican girl, who was flirting with me all night, even asking me how big my dick was, I said "hahm yai", she said "what?", "nothing. U can find out later tonight", "ok", then right before closing she gets a call and bounces, and as last call is called a hail mary attempt with a less than half decent brunette with a big nose.
Bar closes and somehow I end up in some backroom of the bar passing around a bottle of Jack Daniels with the bartending staff and the band that played that night. I'm telling these randoms that I was in Thailand training for an upcoming UFC fight, one guy practices Jiu Jitsu and asks me what division. Fuck if I know, I change the subject. Eventually the backroom starts clearing out and I catch a ride with two girls in a rented minivan to some random hotel.
I remember the elevator ride up but apparently passed out on the floor as soon as I walked into their room. I woke up thinking, "Where am I?", get up and look around, the two girls asleep on one bed, two more people asleep on the other. I don't really know them and am the only one on the floor. I quickly leave.
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