I win....

I win.....

In my.....

So in my infinante wisdom I agreed to go to a funeral last night for
the father of Tila... Thanks TIBKK.....

This is your bird.... I never got at it....

Anyway.... Still no sleep...

And worse yet I'm on the same faakin underpass in Bangkok.....

Faak meeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

Sooooo...

So now were speeding down some actually well built road...

Jones pops in the kings music....

I'm rocking Wiki facts on where "he" played in the states...

He's loving it.....

Still no overpass...

Just chipped my tooth on the last sip....

Over and out....

On my way....

On my way back to Pattaya and Jones

(due to my ruthless haggling techniques)

refuses to take all over passes...

Were hitting ariels like a BMX racer...

Each time I wait about 4.726804 seconds...

And scream "waahhhooooo !!!!"

He thinks it's a riot and travels faster....

I'm wasted....

Pattaya in 49....

Straight to walking street

Backpack and all.......
__________________

A hundo????

I was at a bar and a LB came in...

(I've always wondered if they pissed standing up...)

At first she wanted 100 bhat for the foto....

She finally realized he just had to piss....

No monies were exchanged.....

Another gross true story from the "land of sins".... ("smiles" that
is....)

Bangkok...

Here is a foto that shows the different life styles in Bangkok...

A nice sun rise from the ladies place....

She's sweet too bad I probably won't see her again...

She actually liked me....

So....

So I've been sick for a whole week and taken to TIBKKs game plan of
waking up late and banging birds in lieu of the gym...

(actually he still goes to the gym...)

So I decided to hit Bangkok for some R&R....

Yes a city of about 18 million with limited rules to get better...

Seems nuts I know...

Anyway after 3 days I'm back...

I'll post some fotos from the birds place I was staying at...

RAID!!!

Was at Lucifers tonight and the police raided the place to search the Thai's for drugs. They shut off all the exits and turned off all the lights except for the emergency strobes. Considering there is no occupancy limit the place was packed and people immediately started to rush the exits. Unfortunately, they wouldn't open them so it created quite a bit of havoc. Girls screaming, people shoving, heat rising, it was pretty intense. I managed to squeeze my way out of the club through a window they forgot to close and saw a couple pickups leaving with the beds full of Thai ladies praying for forgiveness. Crazy.

Toilet Games

The pool bar we usually go to before heading out for the night puts ice in their urinals. So I try and see how many cubes I can melt with one piss...


Before

During

After

Yeah, I'm bored. Enjoy!!

Hello How Are You? I Am Fine Thank You

So after that chick last night I thought I'd give you an example of the first few minutes of pretty much every convo you'll have when you first talk to a girl here:

If you're sitting in a booth and you make eye contact with her she'll usually walk over and say, "Ohhweeee! Handsome man! Hello!"
"Hello. How are you?"
"I fine. How are you?"
"I'm fine, thank you."
"What you name?"
"My name is TIBKK."
"TIBKK?"
"Yes"
"Hello TIBKK, my name Nong."
"Nong?"
"Yes"
"Hello Nong"
"Where u from?"
"I from America."
"Amel-lica? ohhweeee! I like Amel-lica!", If she is with friends she'll turn to a friend and say, "Amel-lica boy!", and the friend will say, "Amel-lica! ohhweeee! Obama!" and then they giggle and the girl will grab your nose or chin and say, "Where Amel-lica?"
"California"
"Coweephonna?!!! ohhweeee!!"
Then she'll go in to sniff your face and tap her finger on your nose and say, "I want! You give me?!"
"Sure, pru-nii. tomorrow."
"tomaa-low?", "hehe, ok, tomaa-low!"
"How long you here? You on holiday?"
"Holiday, yes. Here for 3 months."
"3 month? ohhweeee! Long holiday!! You have gilfren Thailand?"
"No"
"You handsome man, you have gilfren Thailand."
"No, really, I don't"
"You buttafry?"
"Maybe. You airport?"
She laughs and says, "Buttafry fo shuuwaa, How old you?"
"saam-sip" (30)
"You speak Thai? You have gilfren Thailand, I know."
"No I don't, how old are you?"
She'll pull her face back and motion to it cause she wants you to guess.
"sii-sip-ha?" (45)
She'll laugh and then scream, "ahhhhhhh!" and mock slap you on the face or shoulder.
Then you'll laugh and say, "I just joking you! I think yii-sip-song. 22?"
She'll either say you are right or tell you another age(whether it's true or not you'll never know unless you ask to see her ID card).

So at this point, if you are into her you can buy her a drink and continue the broken engrish convo or if you're not feeling it you just ask her to help you find another lady, which will clue her in that you aren't interested, though she will still probably ask you to buy her a drink. And when the new lady shows up prepare to go through the above conversation again, the only variables are the name and (sometimes) age.

UCSD Girl

I'm a little disappointed in myself.. Last night I took a chick home because of our conversations and not because of her looks. Or I should say, in spite of her looks. I mean, she wasn't bad looking at all, some might even say she was sexy in her little ruffle-y miniskirt, but to me she just looked like every other average looking chick you see at the mall near UCSD, a university back in San Diego.

JD and I had taken our friends from Sri Lanka to probably one of the worst gogos in Pattaya, they bailed early on, which I should have done too, but instead I ended up staying at the gogo and ignoring Kun's txts so I could take home the UCSD girl. Yeah she was smart, funny, and spoke english really well, but I wasn't that turned on by her, I just enjoyed having a full conversation with a girl where I didn't have to pantomime the definition of every other word I said.

So we went back to my place, and to add insult to injury, the Sri Lankans were on the hotel patio drinking with a few girls that just oozed sex(and I was told this morning the girl's looks didn't lie. argh!)

The UCSD girl and I spent more time talking than anything else and when we did fuck I had to make up a story in my head just to get into it..
'Ok, you met this chick while making a salad at the Whole Foods off of Nobel Drive and she was in between classes and you sat at a booth next to hers and you talked over lunch and she said she had an hour to spare and invited you back to her dorm room. Look around, this isn't your room in Thailand, this is a dorm room on the UCSD campus. See this ass you're grabbing? It's the ass of a second year undergrad, "Hey you, you like this don't you you little computational mathematics major?!" Oh no, Come on little fucker, don't go soft on me now!' Well at least I got a decent massage afterwards.

And she did spend a half hour blowing me this morning...but still.

Alls not quite...

So I haven't been posting much or at all in the last week..

That doesn't mean alls quite on the western front...

Still I must admit I haven't kept pace with the likes of TIBKK who
bagged his second pair of birds last night albiet sans death threats
which doesn't make it nearly as interesting...

I've been getting in to troble here and tho...

Shook the house of the massage parlor tonight...

The chick is hot, 35, in good shape and has aged well...

Any bar in America she's taking home a rich 42 year old...

Here there is so much tail floating around she can't get laid...

I was happy to help out....

Please not this is not crazy "massage Yung" as posted below....

She said it was three months since she got laid and based on her
enthusisum I'm inclined to agree...

Merry Christmas faakers... Off to stirr up trouble!!!

__________________

Copy and paste...

Someone must have taught her the cut and paste function on her phone...

More....

More poetry from Sar... I think Yung might be better tho...

She....

She must have the same book Sar does....

OCD...

OCD anyone?

Fresh Ink

5pm and I'm still alive!



Anyways, the girl I had in my room last night(not the crazy one) was a friend of JD's current bird. Jet black hair, big doe eyes hiding behind low cut bangs, smoking hot body and a few nicely placed tattoo's. Though this tat on her thigh(in the pic), which she had just gotten earlier in the day, was hilarious and I kept telling her so, but I think she got it thinking it was hardcore not funny...so I told her she needs to go back and get Y-O-U tattooed below it if she really wants to be hardcore.

If I Die Before I Wake, I Pray The Lord My Soul To Take

Well got my first death threat from a lady tonight. woohoo!

Tonight is the second night in a row she came banging on my door when I had another girl in my room. The owner of the hotel was asking me to escort the girl out. I tried for about a half hour until she finally left, but not before making a few death threats. "I have friends, you just wait and see what I do. I don't care, I know police, I crazy!"

And then this txt after she left:
"Now i dri nk to much but wait i do sure. And u can not go home die here i do sure.i not happy u can't happy too I CREZY YES!!!"

So if I do die, remember I had a fucking hedonistic blast in my last
few days!!!

Saam Baang

Spent a nice relaxing afternoon in my room...with Po and her roommate. 2 very horny and attentive ladies.

I was talking with Po the other night about wanting to hook up with 2 girls and she said ok, but then changed the subject. Well today we were sitting in the outdoor lobby of my hotel after lunch and she makes a phone call, she's chatting in Thai and giggling and giving me sideways glances. When she gets off the phone I'm like, "what? what was that about?"
"I call my friend, she come over for you now."
holy shit! "now? for you and me together?"
"yes. you want?"
Instant tingle down below. "of course!"

About 30 min later her friend pulls up on the back of a motorbike taxi and looks over at us and I wave to her like a little boy. She walks over and Po and I get up and Po grabs her hand and says to me, "ok, we go upstairs now." I say hi to the girl and she smiles.

We get up to my room and they both sit on the edge of my bed and I'm nervously standing there trying not to look awkward and thinking to myself, 'Ok, shit shit shit, you moron, you're the man, take control'
I stick out my hand in front of the friend and say, "Hi, my name is TIBKK."
She looks at my outstretched hand, but doesn't take it.
I pull my hand back, "What's your name?"
confused look.
"Your name?" I repeat.
"I shy." she says as she starts taking her top off. Yeah, shy. ok.
"Hello Shy." I say as I look down at Po who has already gotten naked and is resting one hand on the small of my back and running her other hand through her friend's hair.
The friend giggles, "No, my name New"
"New or Mew?"
"New, rike new rady" she says as she reaches for the drawstring of my boardshorts.
"Ha, new lady, ok. Nice to meet you New."

Kun Na Raak

Maak Maak

Trifecta Update

Oh yeah, Threebie day was a success!

Arrack!

Tonight started out with a couple glasses of arrack in the lobby courtesy of a group of Sri Lankan guys that just arrived and are staying in our building. Pretty strong stuff, made from the sap of coconut palms.

Eventually left to go on an intentional ghetto gogo bar crawl with JD. All chicks mediocre or less. I met one that said she had a boyfriend from San Diego and that he was coming out to see her tomorrow. So I told her, "oh good, then come with me tonight." She didn't think it was such a good idea as she didn't want to be sore when he arrived. Good point. JD comes back from the pisser and tries to pick up on the same girl. She gives him the same story.

We leave to hit the next subpar bar with cheap beer specials. We are so wasted at this point that the girls are starting to look hot. JD snags a bird that doesn't speak ANY engrish as it was only her 2nd day in town. I'm stumbling around the bar like a jackass talking to all the girls and end up buying some dancers and the mamasan all drinks in one order. Total bill: $12. But apparently still enough to get the owner to come out of the back. He shakes my hand and offers to give me my next drinks on the house. Nice! ..Too drunk to take him up on his offer I roll out of the bar and onto a taxi truck, but not before asking one of the dancers to go with me. She puts clothes on and follows me out.

I swear....

I swear this guy just told me his name was "Lon Mex-i-co"

Freebie Trifecta

I'm going for a freebie trifecta today.

Kun stayed over last night and we had a quickie around 4pm
At around 7pm J stopped in for a quickie before she went to work.
And Po is on her way over now...

BKK or bust

5pm. JD and I took a taxi to Bangkok(only $30 for a 120 mile taxi ride) with nothing but a couple daypacks filled with a change of clothes and a plastic bag filled with ice and bottles of black soda.

7pm. We get dropped off in Nana district and watch the UFC fights at the one bar streaming it. The owner d/l's the bit torrents immediately after the fights. Pretty cool setup.

Midnight. I was chatting up the bartender a bit and on the way out I give her my number and tell her to call me when she gets off work if she wants to hang out. JD and I enter a gogo bar schoolboy style (with our backpacks on both shoulders). He immediately buys the ugliest chick in the room a drink. Not sure why he does that in every gogo we hit, but this time it paid off for him cause he got caught by one of the dancers taking a photo of the stage and the snaggletooth chick defends him and gets the dancer to back off. In the meantime, I had called a girl over to chat. I tell her I have no place to stay in Bangkok so can I stay with her. She says she is staying with a friend and brings the friend over to tell her my story. The friend says she'll think about it.

2am. I get a call from the bartender chick, can't hear over the music so run outside to talk to her. She says she'll come to Nana so I give up on trying to get a free room by crashing at the showgirl's house and go grab a cheap hotel room and sit on the curb drinking Chang beer waiting for my bartender. At this point I'm solo as JD met a bird and disappeared with her.

4am. Bartender finally shows up, says sorry she's late, she had to convince her friend that it was ok for her to go meet some strange guy in the middle of the night. I'm trashed from all the curbside Changs. We get to my room and I immediately pass out.

10am. I am happy to find out the bartender is not a 'working girl', but still loves the rodeo.

1pm. We take the skytrain to MDK(the big mall)and watch a movie and eat at a food court where her friend hostesses. JD shows up and takes a liking to the hostess, so we make plans for the 4 of us to meet up at some Thai bar later that night.

10pm. We get to the bar and JD and I are the only 2 Farangs in the whole place. We get lots of stares as if they're saying, "Why are you white fuckers in our bar?!". I think it's cool, JD doesn't. We split a bottle of Johnnie Walker and a plate of fried fish, heads intact.

2am. Bar closes, time to either get a room or take a taxi home. We decide it's cheaper to just get the taxi and convince the girls to go with us back to Pattaya and the 4 of us hop in the taxi back to our rooms 2 hours away.

5am. Finally home, we go to the 7-11 next door and J is exiting. She sees me with the bartender and gives the girl a disgusted once-over. I try to diffuse the situation by introducing the 2 of them. They just give each other dirty looks, mumble hello in Thai, and J walks away.

5:15am. Txt from J, "LOL IM SAD I LIKE U TOO MUCH I DONT KNOW U HAVE GIRL FRIEND"

11am. After some rodeo the bartender and I take my motorbike to Buddha Hill and Jomtien Beach. We immediately get separated from JD and his girl and don't see them until it's time for the girls to take their taxi home.

3pm. Hire the girls a taxi and say bye bye

3:05pm. I txt J, "she not girlfriend, just friend. where r u?"

Next Stop: Asphalt

One of the local taxi services in Pattaya is a fleet of small blue trucks with an overhead canopy and two rows of bench seats. You just wave them down and jump on and then pay a 10THB fare when you reach your destination. Most people press one of the buzzers they have strewn across the inside of the canopy when they want to get off, but last night someone chose a different technique.

At around 1am JD and I hopped on the truck at Soi Bukhao and 30 seconds into the ride a very drunk european guy sitting on the end of the bench drinking his Chang beer stands up, faces the back of the truck and falls out face first into the street. His beer bottle smashes sending glass and beer everywhere and he's just laying there slowly squirming around. The truck slows for a second as the driver looks in his rearview before speeding off leaving the guy dazed in the street.

Never made it...

Never made it in Swallows...

Nothing tonight for me...

TIBKK has his "ole faithful" (faithful seems like an ill-advised word
however) coming over...

Solo for me which means I might make it to the gym tomorrow...
*MIGHT....

Signing off....
__________________

Going to test...

TIBKK is headed back.

Going to test the theory....

(see earlier post "on of the more classier...")

So I've taken to...

So I've taken to TIBKK's theory of faaking with birds via text message.

Especially ones that I've only spent one lackluster night with...

This is May 2 of two-Mays in a night in Bangkok.

It reads "may loves you..."

Fuck I don't even know the girl....

In fact the next morning she didn't know my name...

She called today...

I told her I'm in Pattaya...

She said shed visit tomorrow...

I said sure....

She won't come but I thougt it was funny that she offered...

"honey what you name..."

She's a keeper...

Last night...

After the afternoon nap yesterday I thought I'd take it easy...

Nope...

Headed out to a club and grabbed a older cutie...

Older at 30 that is... LOL...

Anyway we hung out today but all she had was heels with her...

So she rocked my oversized flops all around town...

It was actually nice to go with a mature older woman who hasn't told
me she loved me or called me 82 times yet...

In a pool tourney this evening but we started the night out at a go-go
bar..

For the air-con (ac) that is...

You just never know with this place...

Went to....

Went to the standard rub-and-tug tonight....

6$ for the Thai massage...

6$ for the optional tugg....

Or is it tug....

Anyway....

I always request the owner... 35, good at the massage, fun....

Well in the land of old punters she tells me next time well head to
her room for a quicky...

And if I make it to boyfriend status...

(maybe another visit or two...)

I get all the massages I want for free...

I might head back tomorrow if I get time...

Were in a pool tourney for charity on Pattaya TV....

Comedy....

__________________

Not Buddha Hill

Just got back from a 2-day dirtbag trip to BKK so I thought I'd post a picture of the Pattaya Bay from NOT Buddha Hill.

Bangkok...

Bangkok was a success.... Got to check out the UFC match and pick up
some trim...

Met up with an old flame who confessed she's married to a 50 year old
Thai guy.... Hummm...

Brought two chicks back here for some fun and to show them the
ocean... (they hadn't been here in a dozen years...)

Just put them in a cab to send them back to the big city....

Time for bed....

It's going to be a big night tonight...

JD

This one...

This one almost got me beat up...

"camera, camera, camera..."

You'd think there was a gun in the room...

Peace...

Both got Mays last night...

Peace out May...

Gym Nǒo

Whew, gym session over, time to go drink! Great gym 2 blocks from my apt for cheap cheap. 3 floors of equipment that make you feel like you are in a prison gym circa 1970 and international "flat-billed socal dbags" scream-grunting as they try to squat 400kilo to impress each other. Oh, and conveniently located next door to a ladyboy bar.

Seriously tho it's a good gym, and where I spend my time when I am not sleeping, eating, drinking, or fucking..so I'm here for about an hour every other day. ha.

LOL....

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New Brown Sauce!

Oh good cause the old brown sauce tasted like crap!

Is this seat taken?

Went out with the optition and her two coworkers this evening... It was going well... Towards the end I tell her I might be heading to Bangkok tomorrow to watch the UFC fight and get away from here....

The johnson and the liver could use a rest.... Ok that's not entirely true.....

Anyway she some how gets it in her head that I'm going to go with a chick. This rapidly mentally morphs into I'm going with my girlfriend...

To further the speculation she's never met TIBKK and is now convinced he doesn't exist.... I showed her the blog and his posts but it was lost on her....

So she's now offically a nut in my book too... Just happens to be an educated, prude, propper nut... Don't know if that's for better or worse....

Anyway I drop her off and head to the night market for some grub...

I walk thru it once trying to figure out what I want....

Second time thru I settle on fried chicken.... Head down after looking at the food I head to the seats.

Sweet I found my own mini table! Jackpot!!!

I look up only to figure out I'm the only white guy sandwiched between the ever so gay Asian version of the backstreet boyz and a horde of agressive ladyboys.

Both of which are convinced that if they bat their eye lashes enough and tell me how much they love America I'm going to grab my ankles....

"where you live"

I give my approximate address...

"me too...."

"it's a big street..."

"where you go..."

"I'm going home, and I'd offer you a ride but I don't trust any of you behind me....."

Not sure if they didn't get it or didn't think it was as funny as I did....

__________________

A-Roy

A delicious heaping pile of freshly fried grasshoppers.
Kun was trying to get me to buy some, though she said she preferred the fried beetle larvae.

Whiskey and Tears (and a Kebab)

"what you want on it?"
i look at the onions then glance over at Po and think, 'sorry girl', and say to the vendor, "i'll take everything. extra onions."
"you want garlic sauce?"
god these fuckin kebabs.."yeah." 'poor Po' i think as i watch him squeeze some cheap creamy garlic sauce on the pita. i'm salivating, 'these things are delicious!' tho i made the mistake of trying one when i was sober. they're not as good as the ones in the kebab shop in dtown SD or nowhere near as good as the turkish kebabs in barcelona, but when my liver is soaked in whiskey these street chicken kebab knock-offs taste pretty damn good.

i finish my food in about 2 seconds and as we start making our way down an alleyway off walking street headed towards Po's bike my phone buzzes. shit. a txt. Kun had txted me earlier, 'where r u?' and i replied, 'i go home. i go sleep' thinking that would be the end of it for the night and i could just see her tomorrow, but when i take a sneak peak at this txt i see it's from Kun, 'ok, i see u in 30 minute'. FUCK! i cannot have Po over and then Kun banging on the front door. ..now i have to make a game time decision. do i txt Kun 'no' and hope she doesn't show up or play it safe by being an asshole and bouncing on Po? i hate making decisions.
"ok, you drive." she says as she hands me the keys to her motorbike.
i stand there with the keys dangling from my hand, "uh, well, i, uh, have to go."
"aria?"
"i, we cannot, i leave. i go home."
"u leave me? u came to lucifer to see me? why you leave me?"
"ummm, well..it's, this SMS, it.."
she cuts me off, "you have lady?! why you not tell me?!"
"im sorry. i like you, but yes, i have to go talk to lady. it's not what you think. i know her before you."
"what u mean not what i think? it 4am. what u have talk about at 4am?" she says as tears start rolling down her cheeks. [JD says these girls can produce tears on command to better get what they want. i hope he's right and she was just playing me]
now with the tears i feel like even more of an ass, "im really sorry Po," i say, "i like you, i do, but i have to go." and turn and walk home to greet Kun.

i met Po less than 24 hours before at lucifer. i went out that night with the intention of not meeting or taking home any ladies. up until JD left to go snag one of Gif's barmates i was doing ok. i was avoiding eye contact and to resist temptation i was completely ignoring the really hot ones, but there i was standing alone sipping on my retched maekong soda and watching the live band perform perfect covers of mainstream hip hop songs when cute little Po comes over and asks me, "hi, where u friend?"
teasing her i say, "oh, why you not want me? he gone. he go see lady. have fun. bye bye." and walk towards the bar to put down my glass and head out of the club ready to congratulate myself on successfully remaining solo. as i'm walking out i try to pass her and she stands in front of me, "i do want you, i shy and not know what to say to talk to you. i see you with friend before and not now so i ask."
wow. this girl is cute and speaks good engrish, but i promised myself i wouldn't take home a girl. damnit.
"oh ok, what your name?"
"po. and u?"
"TIBKK"
she ended up back at my house an hour later and we didn't leave my room until 7pm the next night.
"you can do everything. but not my butt."
"well, then you can't say everything."
i don't think more than 5 minutes went by where she wasn't playing with my cock. if it wasn't in her hand or pussy it was in her mouth. this girl was a true performer, and at 5', quite the spinner. when we did finally leave my room it was just to the lobby to drink whiskeys and discuss the night's plans with JD.

Angry Lil Neighbor

while Po was sitting on my lap in the lobby we were discussing our plans to meet at lucifer later that night when i suddenly felt my phone vibrating. i pulled it out of my pocket, 'oh look J is calling', i pressed 'ignore' and put it back in my pocket. 2 seconds later i heard someone yell my name and i looked out towards the street. it's J. she flips me off and keeps walking. Then the txts came rolling in, 'u today u off my phone. u have lady sit i see' to which i reply, 'u and me friends. just sleep no boomboom. remember?" [this was in reference to the other night when i pissed the world off(including J) she still called me at 5am to come over. i told her ok, but only as friends. so she just slept in my bed. no boomboom.] the following pic shows her responses to my txt, notice in all caps...

Lbfm update....

So yesterday it's a toss up gym or a few drinks with TIBKK's little brown bird...

I choose the latter. No problem the first beers are usually cracked around 10 or 11 so this should be a good change of pace... Heck I might even get to bed early, right?

So the brown one tells me she has a friend who was interested in me the other night but I was with some girl... Humm after the previous nights mayhem I need someone to attest to the skills...

"is she any good?"

"yes, she very good.."

"how do you know?" (kinda joking / laughing)

"because we boom-boom two boys in same room, she much bettter than me..."

And TIBKK has already attested to her skills so I break out the transitive property, (take that Mrs. Palmer you dike of a geometry teacher) and promptly sign up...

"call her up!"

"you want?"

"faak yea" giggling like a child on christmas....

//phone call//

"ok she say she meet us at club at 12..."

//a quick high-five to TIBKK//

I pour us all another round of whiskeys....

The brown one takes off to get prepped and TIBKK and I head out for a beer or three more and a couple games of pool...

12 comes around and we hit the club... The friend is cute, light-skinned, and curvey... Another high-five and round of drinks....

It's acutually one of their friends birthday so they get a free bottle of booze... More and more and more rounds ensue...

Soon it's 3 and time to head home... So much for getting some sleep...

TIBKK has been getting texts from Kung and I think the little brown one knows it....

We do the norm, get kababs and start home...

"bro, I'm a flight risk...."

"yea I kinda figured...."

My bird and I hop a scotter taxi home and TIBKK assures us they will meet us back at the apt.

We get back and start getting at it....

Mid-shag I'm handed a phone with a wheeping little brown one on the other end....

"why you not tell me?"

"what?"

"TIBKK just leave me!"

"I don't know" and hand the phone back...

It didn't slow my little starlet down much...

Actually at all....

Right back to it....

__________________

If you've eaten recently please stop here...

So to finish up the story from the other evening....

The lovely lady (please note this post was encouraged by TIBKK, I thought it best to not mention it) comes out of the shower...

Still a delight, things are going well. I start getting at it, it's good. Were going for a bit and I decide I'm looking for some cowgirl action...

She down.... A little more and she tires. Honey you only weigh 43 kilo 2/3's of which is leg... You should be able to go for hours...

Anyway on the next move back I find some weird cottage like stuff on me and the matteress. I'm not going to say it was everywhere I'm not going to say it was the normal or socially acceptable amount...

Somewhere in between...

I'm grosses out and she's horrified...

She bolts to the shower with me in rapid pursuit...

As I get out of the shower she's dressed and half way out the door....

I actually felt bad for the girl...

Thank god it's a big bed and there was enough real estate remaining....

__________________

A great closing line...

A great closing line by TIBKK last night....

He's sealing the deal with a hottie... Nothing special but could be a lot of fun....

She says how much.....

"usually I don't pay...."

"I don't believe you...."

"No really, I go to airline, showgirls2, lucifers, soi 8... Don't pay..."

"you butterfly...." (dude that goes from flower to flower (chick to chick) every night)

That basically sealed that deal up.....

Not till TIBKK tell me that story did he fully understand what he said.....

My response "bro you said that?" LOL

In fact I think I got it before him....

Comdey....

__________________

Little...

Little paws.....

Please....

TIBKK says please look up LBFM

Or save youself the trouble and go to www.lbfm.com

Warning Not Suitable For Work....

A little more....

A little more Christmas before the pathetic update on the finish...

I've been...

I've been meaning to do a day or two of only fruit and no booze...
Hasn't happened yet...

Lord knows I've had my chances tho...

Check out these fruit stands everywhere...

I have made it to sub 200lbs... Which is a feat in its self....

So this.....

So this time, against my better judgement, I made it to morning...

Still not sufficently over my cold/flu I decided it was time to carry
on....

I'm going strong because.... Well because....... Because fuck it I
don't even have to get out of bed tomorrow....

Hell without my phone I don't even know what day it is....

So I head to "ring the faakin bell" bar.... Don't know why... Still.....

One of the birds is looking good... We tried it before... No
chemistry, I mean zero.... O'well....

Still I chalk it up to poor timing.... She's got some d-bag boyfried
from the neitherlands with a pho-hawk and he's comming to town soon...

Well that's what I understood....

Well since then they've split and she's interested in me....

Or so the redbull vodkas are telling me....

I pass on it and persevere onwards....

Hit a few clubs and gogos....

Nothing to my liking...

TIBKK is texting her friend and she's asking about me....

So-yo-rite.....

We keep going and still nothing...

I decide to about-face..... Why not right....

I head back and the 3 hottest of 8 girls are still at the bar.... Odd...

Anyway around of drinks and away we go.....

Well on of them wants to find a young white boy for the pounding so I
agree to head to a disco or two on walking-street...

My bird and her friend that is.... Sorry gents this doesn't end
that way.....

Of course the first club we go to I run in to "ole faithful"

(kiss her goodbye, as I stroll in with a bird on each arm)

Anyway the third wheel is searching hard but to no avail...

Anyway we drop her off and head back here now...

Said chica is showering now.... For quite sometime I might add...

"hot watta ain't free ya know...." (just yelled)

I love yelling things quickly that are never caught....

All I got was: "ar-rai" (what?)

Classic....

Will report back....

Signing off,

Against All Judgement (JD)

So....

So I was all excited cause I thought this one was over me....

Turns out she just lost my phone number...

For some unknown reason I gave it to her when she asked for it when we ran into eachother at the nite market...

Ting-tong....

Oops make that three missed calls. Just got another...

Pussy Bar Beer

Just in case you're not sure what they offer at this outdoor bar.

Hummmm.....

It starts as:

"can you come see me at my bar tonight"

"yes if I feel better...."

Then the rest reads as shown....

Some how this little starlet has fallen in love with me... I honestly don't think it's about money, I think she's just crazy....

Last I told her I had girl and I shouldn't see her anymore.

She said "it's ok you see me when you can't see her...."

All for free of course.... Shit I'd rather pay just not to deal with this craziness...

Supplemental Income

Our friend T from Canada lives here and plays online poker to cover his expenses. So I decided to give it a shot and log in to my old poker account and start grinding away. I had $17.23 left over in the account, so that's what I've started my bankroll with. ha. I've put in about 6 hours of play so far and increased my bankroll to over $26!



.25/.50USD tables, here i come!

Bad Man

"i think my friend likes you."
"i no like him."
"why?"
"i look his eye. he a bad man."

i literally, in a figurative sense, went off the deep end two nights ago. i was trying to rush my recovery from being sick over the weekend and before leaving my hotel i swallowed some allergy pills, ibuprofin, the thai pill equivilant of a bottle of robitussin, and two glasses of black soda.
by the time JD and i were visiting our 3rd agogo(we made a strict rule to not drink more than 2 drinks at any one agogo unless one of us spotted a prospect) i was a few more whiskeys deep and probably walking with a drunk swagger. JD and I got a booth(well, i got a booth and he got a speaker) and some topless chick sits in my lap and i am having the usual "what u name" chat until J walks over, flips her new horse hair extensions at me in disgust and storms to the back of the club. the girl on my lap says, "u know her?"
"yeah, J, she my neighbor, can you get her."
the girl gets off my lap and walks towards the front of the club.
"wrong way sister!"
ugh. i get up and go find J in the back where the girls are changing, "you come here! why you come here to find new lady?!" i shrug and offer her a piece of gum as a peace offering. she takes it and then asks for a second piece, which i give her and she gives to one of the other girls and then asks me for another piece and i tease her and say, "no, i give you one, you ask for two, i give you two, you ask for three, if i give you three, you will ask for four." oops. she starts yelling something in thai and runs over to her purse and pulls out 40thb and tries to shove it in my pocket and says, "that for gum."
"come on J, i just joking you. here, have the whole pack."
she pushes my hand away and just starts repeating, "i give you one, you ask for two..." over and over and then storms back into the main area of the club to do her little dance routine.
1 point for bad man.
i go sit back down to watch her dance and remember why i boomboomed her a while back, though she gives me dirty looks and turns the other way. JD and i leave and as i pass her i try and hand her my now empty pack of gum. she won't take it so i drop it on the stage by her feet and walk out.
2 points for bad man.
out in front of the club are the hostesses, one of which i also barfined a while ago(and almost wrecked her scooter on the drive home), so i go to talk to her and felt like she didn't want to talk to me and mumble something to JD, he asks her, "you remember him?"
"yes, i remember."
i say something like, "whatever," and turn my attention to her friend who is also a stunner and say to her, "can i barfine you right now?" she says, "no, i like lady only, but you can barfine me and aom" "bullshit, really? let's go." and they fuck with me about this for a minute before saying it wasn't going to happen. 2 points to them...though this most likely adds more fuel for the bad man and i throw my hand up as if to shoo them away and walk off, so..
2 more points for bad man.
JD and i get to the next club and i try to order a black soda from the first bar, they don't have it. this pisses me off even further. i turn and stagger to the bar in the back and try and order a black soda, as if they are going to have it, they have the same menu, so i disgustedly order a maekong soda and turn to see that JD is already dancing with some chick, so i tap her friend Fong on the arm and tell her to come over. she does, we talk for a minute, i try and dance, she walks back to her friends.
gif(frosty prosty) shows up with our friend T from Canada and he leans over to me and says, "don't worry bro, i just barfined her to chill."
"i don't care, it's her job. do what you want with her"
1 more point for bad man.
i turn back around and see JD arm-n-arm with Fong and so i rush over there and i start talking shit to JD. "chill out! i asked her. she doesn't like you man", he says.
"fuck you. blah blah."
"i'm not doing this shit again. you keep it up and i'm going to knock you out", he says between clenched teeth.
"fuck you. blah blah." i don't remember what all was said. just glad he kept his cool and didn't sock me.
2 more points for bad man.
JD gets the girl's number and bails. she bails. i'm standing there stewing and gif and T try to explain to me that i am drunk and not thinking straight and should go home. i mumble something to them and storm out to start the walk home. on the walk i get a txt from gif, "i think u no good for me. take care." ouch. looks like i successfully pissed off and alienated 5 working girls(including sweet little gif), my friend JD, and even a Canadian all in one night.

One of the.....

One of the classier establishments on our street....

Complete with spinners in school girl uniforms....

No word on if they live up to their name....

We pale in....

We pale in comparison to some of these stories....

Some great reads if you have the time....

http://www.tfs2m.com/reader-submissions/2009/12/08/on-the-origin-of-cliches-by-human-tsunami/

__________________

....

No I didn't close out a bar at this time which is the norm....

I actually got up by this time....

Worse yet I'm going to be out of comission tonight as well.

On a brighter note I got 2 phone calls late last night asking me....

"you sick, so sorry.... you have lady to take care of you... I can come over...."

Sweet girls, honestly.... I declined each time as I couldn't muster the strength to walk down three flights of stairs to let them in....

A weak....

A weak performance by JD this evening....

Took out the optomitrist to the movies.... A traditional Thai girl so
things went as expected... She actually rode sidesaddle on the back of
my scotter even tho she was wearing jeans....

I guess straddling is a no no.... Who knew the average bird here
straddles with a skirt on....

Dropped her off.... Felt tired and like a cold might be comming on...
Stocked up and am retiring....

Weak! :)

Dirtbag

whenever i make it home i am def going to miss the "sexy man" catcalls as i walk down to the 7-11 unshaven, unshowered and in my pajamas

This Post Is For You Grandma

The manager at the place I stay has a pet baby rabbit that she puts in little dresses and let's run around the tables in the lobby...

Oh how cute!

There is....

Thee is always an alterior motive with these chicks....

Met this one at a club last night...

I think she wanted me to pay her bar fine right now or something....

Maybe I'll swing by Peppermint tonight...

Not exactly ....

Not exactly Rockafella Center but there is some Christmas flavor
here....

A.....

A night shot from my hotel room....

Over and out.....

Can't.....

Can't say I'm a fan of cultures where OCD like behaviors are socially
acceptable....

This place is definitly one of them......

The worst......

Here is a picture of the worst bathroom in the world....

The question is if you get there first which stall do you take....

Agogo

Here's a go go bar...

Couldn't get much as they have strict no camera policies everywhere....

Throw them thangs....

TIBKK gets in to it again...

Only to win and then have this girl proclaim she has no money and
can't buy a drink....

Check-bin please....