Hello How Are You? I Am Fine Thank You

So after that chick last night I thought I'd give you an example of the first few minutes of pretty much every convo you'll have when you first talk to a girl here:

If you're sitting in a booth and you make eye contact with her she'll usually walk over and say, "Ohhweeee! Handsome man! Hello!"
"Hello. How are you?"
"I fine. How are you?"
"I'm fine, thank you."
"What you name?"
"My name is TIBKK."
"TIBKK?"
"Yes"
"Hello TIBKK, my name Nong."
"Nong?"
"Yes"
"Hello Nong"
"Where u from?"
"I from America."
"Amel-lica? ohhweeee! I like Amel-lica!", If she is with friends she'll turn to a friend and say, "Amel-lica boy!", and the friend will say, "Amel-lica! ohhweeee! Obama!" and then they giggle and the girl will grab your nose or chin and say, "Where Amel-lica?"
"California"
"Coweephonna?!!! ohhweeee!!"
Then she'll go in to sniff your face and tap her finger on your nose and say, "I want! You give me?!"
"Sure, pru-nii. tomorrow."
"tomaa-low?", "hehe, ok, tomaa-low!"
"How long you here? You on holiday?"
"Holiday, yes. Here for 3 months."
"3 month? ohhweeee! Long holiday!! You have gilfren Thailand?"
"No"
"You handsome man, you have gilfren Thailand."
"No, really, I don't"
"You buttafry?"
"Maybe. You airport?"
She laughs and says, "Buttafry fo shuuwaa, How old you?"
"saam-sip" (30)
"You speak Thai? You have gilfren Thailand, I know."
"No I don't, how old are you?"
She'll pull her face back and motion to it cause she wants you to guess.
"sii-sip-ha?" (45)
She'll laugh and then scream, "ahhhhhhh!" and mock slap you on the face or shoulder.
Then you'll laugh and say, "I just joking you! I think yii-sip-song. 22?"
She'll either say you are right or tell you another age(whether it's true or not you'll never know unless you ask to see her ID card).

So at this point, if you are into her you can buy her a drink and continue the broken engrish convo or if you're not feeling it you just ask her to help you find another lady, which will clue her in that you aren't interested, though she will still probably ask you to buy her a drink. And when the new lady shows up prepare to go through the above conversation again, the only variables are the name and (sometimes) age.