3-Up On A Taxi Scooter

last night was yet another shit show...4am, so drunk i can barely stand. i take a girl home. 5 min after we get to my room i'm in the bathroom taking a leak and i hear her phone ring and her talking in pretty decent english to somebody, "ok baby, i be there in 30 minutes." i get out of the bathroom and am like, "what's going on? who was that?"
"my boyfriend, he at police and need me get him, but we can boom boom for 30 minute."
ha. "no thanks. just give me back my barfine." so we end up riding 3-up on a taxi scooter with this girl stopping at every ATM to try and withdraw money, but her card isn't working. we end up back at her room and i'm standing there while she is pulling out money from a stash she has behind her wardrobe. she pays me back and we are driving back to my room to drop me off when we pass this girl, calls herself J, who i was with a couple nights ago. 5 seconds later my phone is ringing. its J. "you butterfly. you have new lady!" "no, no, i was just sharing a taxi. look." and i hop off the scooter to run back to her. on the walk to her room i get a txt from Kun, who's a total knockout, so i txt Kun, 'u go to my room?' she replies, 'i go now'. so i tell J that i am too drunk to do anything and give her a quick kiss goodnight. Kun shows up to my apt, we go up to my room and i immediately pass out. i wake up around 10am, still drunk, with Kun smoking me awake.

Airport

"hey, your shirt says 'Airport'. isn't that the word the girls here use for a girl that has a lot of men?"
"i no unnersan. what u say me? i like jus u."
"ok"

New Girlfriend For A Day

Or 2 days. She is a real sweetheart. And fun.

Gym Tomorrow Bitch

Soi Baukhao

Moved to a new apartment yesterday. It's boxed in by a couple go-go bars and massage shops. will have to go out and meet my new neighbors soon.. im going to miss playing pool with the working girls from the whorehouse i moved out of, but i promised the mama i would come in and say hi and get a drink every now and then. plus, this place is nicer and only $210/month with daily maid service and fresh linens, aircon, hot water, tv, and fridge. ...and all the furniture matches! and it'll be a lot quieter since my room faces a residential area rather than sitting on a main street.

A shot of the new room.
Already looks like I've lived here for days. ..It's been less than 24hrs.

pics of the view from my balcony.

Fang

this girl is a sweet girl. a traditional thai girl, not the boom boom type. when i first saw her i struggled to get the right Thai words out to get her number and ask her on a date. she agreed and wanted to see a movie, for some reason the people here love the big american blockbusters and she was all about seeing 2012. unfortunately, 2012 was probably the worst movie i've sat through in a long time(3hrs of crap on screen). i tried leaning over and making a couple jokes early on in the movie, but the girl would just give me a blank stare and smile. then at dinner we just ate and looked around awkwardly and tried to have a conversation with one word sentences. even though the girl was amazingly good looking i had to end the date early cause it was just too difficult. damn language barrier. knowing, "hello, how are you? i am fine, thank you. where is the bathroom?" only goes so far.

Anne Txt Me Good

Anne is a go-go girl from a club on Walking Street that I barfined the other night. In San Diego she would be a 10+ stunner. Here, she is still a stunner, but just one of many. Anyways, her txt msgs are golden.



Last night I went back to her go-go bar and asked for Anne. I got a different Anne, but she was a knockout so I just chatted with her and bought her a few drinks before barfining her to go out to Lucifer before heading back to my house. Well at Lucifer her bf showed up and she bounced, so I txted the original Anne and apparently she was at the club and saw me with the Anne imposter...Txts below kind of explain...

Tila Lookalike In Pattaya

Still With The Frosty Prosty...

"BAIL NOW!"

i wasn't completely unphased by JDs txt, i was mostly confused by it. i read it and looked at the tila tequila lookalike and was thinking, "wtf?! is she a ladyboy? no way is she a ladyboy, why the fuck is he telling me to bail!? oh shit, is her boyfriend here?!" i looked up at Tila and said, "you ok? you want to bail?" she just gave me a quizzical look and i glanced around the club and everything appeared to be ok so i just chalked it up as JD trying to be funny and went back to my drink. a minute later JD comes over to the table and says, "your girl is here."
"who? ..Gif?!"
"yeah, she accosted me in the bathroom. you should leave if you don't want her to see you with Tila."
so im thinking about bailing, but then i see Gif storm past our table and out of the club and i think, "well that sucks, there goes my freebies."

Update:
Tila was still a looker in the morning, but the dim glow of the club lights and haze of the johnnie walker buzz definitely work in her favor.

Gif, the hooker who calls me her boyfriend(which over here just means i don't have to pay to hook up with her and she'll want to hang out with me during the days she doesn't "work" aka "fuck dudes for money"), was a little pissed that i took home Tila and the next day she wanted to get her stuff from my room, but a quick broken engrish chat and disaster averted...everything is ok again here in the world of sin. unless having a boo who gives handys for a living is not ok? i was actually happy to hear she was working tonight so i can go out and barfine a different girl, ha, though i just got this txt, "what r u doing? u don.t have lady tonight ok?" crazy that the girl doesn't want me out picking up girls while she is "working".

pic is of an angry Gif i took while she was arguing with me about hooking up with other girls while she was working.

Prosty

There's something fucked up about dating a prostitute. I saw a movie recently called, "The Girlfriend Experience" about a glimpse of the life of a high class escort in NY and there was a scene where she was eating dinner with her boyfriend after coming home from being with a client and she was telling him about the client's car or something, and I thought to myself, 'man, that guy is crazy, I would never date a fucking hooker. how insane is that?!'
well...I'm over a week into dating a hooker and she truly is the sweetest girl. At first I thought it was funny. I would head downstairs to the bar and JD would jokingly say, "where's the wifey?" and I would reply, "off to work..she had to go give some handys." we'd laugh and start chatting about something else as if it was no big deal that the girlfriend if off fucking random dudes for money.
...but today her and I were eating lunch and some shaved head tat'd up muscle dude walked by and she jokingly pointed to him and said, "ohhh sexy man, i think he customer." and at that moment reality hit and I got really annoyed about the whole thing. all i could think about was sweet little gif going down on that guy and bending over to let him beat it up. she had to work in an hour too, so i thought to myself, "what the fuck am i doing?!" and blurted out, "we go now." and drove her back to my apt so she could grab her shit and bounce.

Casual Pattaya Evening

tonight i was at a gogo bar on walking street and around midnight the girl i fucked last night txts me telling me she wants to see me. i txt back, "maybe in an hour", cause at the time i was flirting with the hot hostess. after a bit i felt it was time to leave and asked the hostess to come along, but they wanted a barfine of 600B and she wanted 3000B! i said, "you're beautiful, but that is WAY too much and i will never pay that." so a little while goes by while i sit and finish my thai whiskey and soda, i get up and go take a piss and she comes sneaking into the guys bathroom and gives me her number to call her at 4am when she gets off work. while i am punching her number into my phone a bouncer charges in and starts yelling at her. so i quickly leave the bathroom and she follows and the mamasan catches us and the girl spews something in thai to the mamasan and the mamasan says to me, "buy me a drink." so i do. and then im sitting in a corner booth with the mamasan and the hostess and the mamasan is doing the usual scripted talk, "where you from? what you do? how long you here? you want play pool?" and then after about three more rounds of drinks i say im leaving and the mamasan grabs my junk and says "com back tomorrow for special time" and gets up and walks away. the hostess asks me to buy her another drink and i say, "no, im taking off." and she says, "you call me at 4?" "yeah, i'll call." i kiss her lightly and head out of the bar. i walk to the end of walking street and grab one of those 10b taxi truck things and end up getting dropped off a few blocks too far. im walking aimlessly and this girl on a motor scooter drives up and says, "taxi! where you go!?" and i say no thanks and keep walking and she yells, "i'll follow you!" and on the next block she rolls up and says, "i told you i follow you." and i say, "ok, fine, how much to get a ride?" and she says, "free. im not taxi, where you want go?" i tell her flipper lodge but when she pulls up to the lodge i realized i just moved, "oops, i moved today to a place over on soi lenkee" so we continue motoring down soi 7 and drive right by the outdoor beer bar where the girl from last night that txted me is sitting and she totally sees me and gets this big smile on her face thinking i was going to stop, but i just wave as we motor on by. the motorbike girl takes me to my new apt and i say, "you are too nice, kop kuhn krup" as i dismount and she says, "kop kuhn ka" and just drives away. weird. back upstairs in my apt, half hour until i call the hostess...

Apple In My Eye

Beware Of Chang

Three hours after landing I found myself at a bar called Chart on Khaosan Rd. They served up some delicious chicken cashew stir fry and I ordered what was to become the first nail in my coffin, a large Chang beer. Uh. Oh. Each bottle goes down like water, but hits you like a brickhouse. I met up with JD and shortly after a girl from Amsterdam who was sitting at a table next to us joined our table and eventually the 3 of us were pounding Chang like there was no tomorrow, and as far as Chang was concerned there wasn't going to be a tomorrow. We walked to another road parallel to Khaosan and drank more Chang at a bar called fabolouse pasta(or some shit like that) before wandering back to Chart for some more Chang. But at this point I was so retardedly drunk that my memory of the rest of the night is a blur...i have images of partying with some guys from New Zealand and having a drinking contest with some local girls that joined our table, and sharing buckets of iced beer and red bull and rum concoctions, and waking up the next day fully clothed and face down on my bed. Welcome to Bangkok.

Finally Here

My Air China flight arrived at Suvarnabhumi around noon. I grabbed my bags, went through the foreigner section of customs and then exchanged about $200 to Baht and wandered around the public transit area for about 40min trying to figure out what the hell to do and find that airport shuttle ride for 130B that I was told existed. Ended up just getting in the metered taxi line and getting a taxi to khaosan rd for 290B + the two tolls and airport fee, so 405B was the bill, I didn't tip the guy cause I wasn't sure if I was supposed to and always like the err on the side of cheap asshole in those situations. My room I booked online for the first night was located on the opposite side of Khaosan, so I had to walk thru the gauntlet of trinket people and aggressive suit salesmen with my bags. It is fucking hot here. The road is probably, maybe, a half mile long, if that, and when I got to my room my shirt was drenched in sweat and my eyelids were heavy from the sweat collecting around them. I'm definitely not conditioned for working out here, it's going to be a real nightmare for the first few weeks I bet. I got my room key and dropped my shit off in the closet size room. Now off to get some of that delicious street food I heard so much about.

3/4th The Way There

This is just a log of what I have done/am doing so probably incredibly boring..

.Got to LAX and stepped into the int terminal and it was pretty crowded. I had to wait in a line to check in, then a line to drop my checked luggage, then the security line for me and my carry-on. Got to the gate just as they were boarding my row. so good at timing, though i was stressing out cause all the lines seemed to move really slow.

.very long uncomfortable flight and i thought i was lucky getting the center row with extra leg room behind the middle toilets, but everyone on the left side of the plane thought it was cool to wake me up by trying to step over me to get to the toilet on the right side of the plane. food was actually decent. the flight attendants were hot and smiled a lot, except for one, and she was serving my section.

.Taipei airport. Still feels like I am in LAX, though the chairs are nicer. accidentally punched this hot girl in the boob when we were being corralled to the security transfer terminal. I was quickly raising my arm to let some angry short old lady succeed in pushing her way past me as she cut her way to the front of the line and 'thwack' the back of my hand knocked the girl right in the boob. "sorry" "so k".

14 Hours

Got my room rented out and most of my stuff packed away in the garage. I just need to figure out how to move my queen size bed to the garage solo. Bag is packed and iPod is loaded up with some new tunes that this girl brought over for me last night. Have a few more little things to take care of and then heading over to my friend's house. He offered to drive me straight to LAX from here, very cool!