First Night In Patong

My first night in Patong I walk over to Bangla Road, which is their party road, around 10pm and on first view was incredibly disappointed. The chicks were mediocre at best and the ratio was 20 douchebag tourist guys(myself included) to 1 Thai girl. So it's kind of like finding a parking spot near the beach, all the good spots are already taken and you end driving around for an hour or parking a mile away, unless you get lucky and grab a spot right as someone is leaving. I did a quick stroll thru all the soi's and all the good spots were already taken. So I ended up just walking all over town to get a mental map of the city, of course stopping in every 7-11 to buy my next san miguel light.

Around 2am I make it to the end of my street, which is massage row, and started down the gauntlet. I ended up making it past 3 parlors, "Hellooooo Massage?" "No Thanks, I go home", before a little cutie with a full back tattoo convinced my drunken ass to take her to the "sheet room". I've never actually fucked in a massage parlor, in fact, before Patong I only actually went to the massage parlors here once and that just ended in a clinical-style handy(maybe a bit of a blowy too).

We get to the sheet room, which is basically a row of 4x7ft "rooms" divided by sheets on curtain rods. On the floor of each room is a cheap little mat and pillow. The room is dimly lit and there's usually a cd player in the corner playing crap music. She tells me to get naked and lay on the mat, so I do without a second thought. Thinking back, if I was sober, I wouldn't dare touch that mat.

tattoo girl says, "boomboom first?"
"uh, ok?", I kinda wanted the massage, but being new to the whole massage parlor shit I just rolled with it. She put the condom on with her mouth and gave me a 5 minute smoke before doing the rodeo. Set Lao. I took a quick shower in their bathroom and walked out of the parlor and headed to my room.

A few steps taken and a girl from the next parlor stops me and I am still drunk and bummed I didn't actually get a massage so I say, "ok, but no boomboom, just massage.", to which all the other girls sitting around her parlor start laughing. We go upstairs and she gives me a shitty ass massage and I realize these girls are probably not professionally trained in the art of massage. When she finishes I tell her that I'll show her how to give a real massage(tho I have no idea how to) and so she gets naked and lays stomach down on the mat. I grab her oils and start kneading it into her back, after about 10 minutes I am tired of playing masseuse and tell her I am going to leave. She asks if she can go, I say yes. She gets dressed and collects her things. We get out front and I realize I don't want to have to deal with her in the morning so I tell her I am too tired and leave her standing there in front of her parlor. "bye bye"