A while ago....

Before I left for a visa run to Malaysia I was left to my own devices in Bangkok for two evenings.....

The first night I get in after a long cabride and a few to many black- sodas only to find mango bar basically empty...

I hangout for a bit and play some pool. I end up chumming it up with an English chap over a few more black-sodas.....

At this point I'm hammered and Nana Plaza is going to close soon.....

I'm out hunting.... Let's go Nana!

I troll thru a few bars before I find a cutie of interest....

Short time up stairs... I'm in...

Soon it's closing time and I've got to get my pants on and leave...

I'm walking down the stairs only to run into my English mate...

He's with two birds and invites me along....

"where we going?"

"don't know... Some afterhours thai club...."

"I'm in...."

We grab a cab... One chick sits in the front and I get stuck bitch....

At this point the girl on my right has glued herself to he door in hopes of not making contact with me....

"so you caught me coming down stairs from the ST?" (short time)

It's lost on her but were both on the same page at this point... She wants nothing to do with me...

As this is happening the one in the front perks up and takes some interest in me....

Cool......

We get to the club...

The only two white people there... And maybe the most tore up too...

We order a liter of johney walker black....

Great idea....

They have a DJ and are only playing thai music...

My newfound buddy and I start to make a dancing scene...

Were a foot taller than everyone there and he's as pastey white as I am....

Let the goofy Isan dancing commence.

More and more drinks are served...

The girls are propper and see to it that our drinks ae always full...

Not exactly something I need at this point...

It doesn't stop me.... Keep'm coming....

Soon it's 4 AM and closing time...

I've been dancing with the same girl forementioned all night long...

She asks me where I'm going...

I tell her home with her...

"I live with mamma..."

"no problem..." callin her bluff... "let's go..."

A taxi to some place in Bangkok that white people don't go and were home....

We walk in to her apartment only to find out it's a studio with mamma sleeping on the floor on a straw mat Isan style...

She awakes with the light....

I'm sticking to my guns tho and swearing I have no problem sleeping / boning down on the bed next to mamma...

Bluff called....

Anyway it's clearly not going to happen so I decide to show myself the door....

I'm actually able to find a sober motorbike taxi at that hour....

I start my usual shit... Encouraging him to drive faster, directing traffic, and giving cars the stiff-arm heisman style...

My taxi guy isn't as amused as they usually are... Then again he's sober....

I get dropped off at the 7-11 near my hotel and start my drunken ritual of putting everything in the microwave...

This time it's 2 chicken fried rice, a soup and a bag of cookies...

Again a less than enthuastic response from the staff...

Cookies aren't allowed in microwaves and things go one at a time apparently...

Who knew...

Well at least someone is ammused. A forty something drunk lady also looking for food and ass...

Were a match made in heaven....

We start dining on the stoop outside....

Real classy stuff here...

I'm feeding her wontons and shes rubbing my leg...

I've taken to calling her mamma and i'm sure she's liking it...

"where you go?"

"to my hotel, you want?"

"OK.."

And were off...

I get a coy smile from the 20 something receptionist only to reply "could have been you"

We had been joking earlier when I checked in and I invited her out for a drink which she politely declined...

Mamma spends the next twelve hours holed up with me in the hotel....

Classic!